var quotes = new Array;

quotes.push("<font color=#000080><b>You're addicted to the internet if you wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and stop to check your eMail on the way back to bed.</b>");

quotes.push("<font color=#000080><b>It's time to upgrade your computer if the graphics accelerator card is connected to the treadmill in your hamster cage.</b>");

quotes.push("<font color=#000080><b>You're addicted to the internet if you name your children Eudora, Mozilla and Dotcom.</b>");

quotes.push("<font color=#000080><b>It's time to upgrade your computer if the smoke and fumes from the CPU are beginning to affect your health.</b>");

quotes.push("<font color=#000080><b>You're addicted to the internet if you turn off your modem and get this awful empty you just pulled the plug on a loved one.</b>");

quotes.push("<font color=#000080><b>It's time to upgrade your computer if the only sound you get from your sound card is cough, cough...wheeze.</b>");

quotes.push("<font color=#000080><b>You're addicted to the internet if you spend half the plane trip with your laptop on your lap, and your child in the overhead compartment.</b>");

quotes.push("<font color=#000080><b>It's time to upgrade your computer if the magnifying glass in front of your tiny monitor is starting to melt the plastic casing.</b>");

quotes.push("<font color=#000080><b>You're addicted to the internet if you decide to stay in college for an additional year or two, just for the free Internet access.</b>");

quotes.push("<font color=#000080><b>It's time to upgrade your computer if you attempt to connect to a site with a few graphics and a pop-up alert declares You've got to be kidding!</b>");

quotes.push("<font color=#000080><b>You're addicted to the internet if you pity people who still don't have broadband.</b>");

quotes.push("<font color=#000080><b>It's time to upgrade your computer if the Start button on your taskbar reads Give It A Try instead of Start.</b>");

quotes.push("<font color=#000080><b>You're addicted to the internet if you start using smiley's in your snail mail.</b>");

quotes.push("<font color=#000080><b>It's time to upgrade your computer if you find yourself drilling holes in your floor or desktop to hold your 'puter in place while it's running.</b>");

quotes.push("<font color=#000080><b>You're addicted to the internet if your hard drive crashes, and you don't panic.</b>");

quotes.push("<font color=#000080><b>It's time to upgrade your computer if your idea of multimedia is turning on the stereo in the next room.</b>");

quotes.push("<font color=#000080><b>You're addicted to the internet if you haven't logged in for two hours, and you start to twitch.</b>");

quotes.push("<font color=#000080><b>You're living proof of Murphy's Laws of Computing if whatever happens you behave as though you meant it to happen.</b>");

quotes.push("<font color=#000080><b>It's time to upgrade your computer if your email comes back with postage due.</b>");

quotes.push("<font color=#000080><b>You're living proof of Murphy's Laws of Computing if the first place you look for information is in the section of the manual where you least expect to find it.</b>");

quotes.push("<font color=#000080><b>It's time to upgrade your computer:if you have to crankstart it like an old model T.</b>");

quotes.push("<font color=#000080><b>You're living proof of Murphy's Laws of Computing if when the going gets tough, you upgrade.</b>");

quotes.push("<font color=#000080><b>You're living proof of Murphy's Laws of Computing if you blame your computer for your mistakes.</b>");


document.write(quotes[(Math.floor(Math.random() * quotes.length))]);